You know when you need to get something off of your mind so you write it out somewhere and then things automatically feel better? Well, I do.

Here lies a placeholder for what was once a very personal yet somewhat fictionalized piece of experimental writing. The very act of capturing all my thoughts on paper (digital paper) was therapy enough. Thanks for listening and immediately forgetting all about it, DT.

Crisis over!

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(For the sake of the archives, I managed to find the original post using google's cache. Here you go guys, glad you enjoyed it.)

"Who's this idiot who looks like me and what did he do last night?"

Kensington. Friday night. Find a fedora and a ukelele because tonight's a costume party birthday and Jason Mraz is an easy costume. Just go with it.
Get to the house with friends, hey how's it going, I haven't seen you in forever, what's up man, happy birthday, I brought rum, I can't believe you set up an open bar in the basement, let's go get some drinks.
I'll have whatever you're having.
Hey how's it going.
I'll have whatever you think I'll like.
Hey how's it going. Yeah, hat and guitar. John Mayer, close enough.
Give me something I've never tried before. Make it up, why not.
You're a worker from Jurassic Park, that's an awesome costume.
Gin and tonic?
I almost wore my black cowboy hat and came as a bad-ass sheriff, we could have been costume soulmates! I like the cowgirl thing you're doing.
Gin and tonic.
Gin and tonic.
It's getting crowded isn't it, that's cool though.
You need to stop shooting that guy in the face with that dart gun. Oh it's fun? Alright, let me try.
Sorry man.
You're right, that was fun.
Someone told me to try a broken down golf cart. All you have is punch. Is that a star fruit? Awesome.
Wolverine! No I knew before I saw the claws, the sideburns and leather jacket did it. Nice.
Gin and tonic. Yeah, it's kind of manly, everything else you guys are making tastes like candy.
Hey.
She wants something that tastes like candy.
No, that's Jack Johnson. I sang "I'm Yours". Yeah, there you go. No it's a not a real ukelele, it's just a prop. The frets don't align properly. Well, you don't even have a costume.
What are you drinking? Why's it blue?

Wake up on my friend's couch. Um.
I don't know what happened, what happened?
She's mad. I don't remember the last part of the night. What happened?
Vague response.
Shit.
"Get up, we have rehearsal in 20 minutes."
We don't talk on the walk there.

Rehearsal.
Dancing.
How are you feeling?
You alright?
You look like shit.
"How are you doing you had a big night." Apparently. "Yeah." Ugh. "It's okay, I've done worse." That's not reassuring. "...Yeah."

"4 of us walked you to her house. It was a challenge"
"She kept calling you an idiot."

"I thought you were going to die! Haha." Haha.

I think you told your best friend you loved her. And hit on her for the rest of the night. And then she had to take care of you instead of talking to the guy she really liked.
Shitshitshitshit.
Do I? I don't. I don't think so.
Thinkthinkthinkthinkthink.
I don't think I think of her that way. I think.
I can't remember any of this.
Shitshitshit.

"I helped you put on your shoes for half an hour, it was hilarious."

We should talk.
Wondering how to go about this.
Wondering if she's mad for interrupting her potential romance or for interrupting with my drunk notion of potential romance or for throwing up outside of her house at 3am.
Wondering if inebriation brings out honesty or bullshit.
Wondering if "I'm not interested in you but only because you're not interested in me" will be good enough.