Every House Episode Ever

House: Alright team, this amoral sick man/woman/child has something wrong with him.
Foreman: Oh darn. let's run a few diagnostics, see what's up.
Chase: Okay Mr. Patient, We're going to do this test
Patient: WHY?!?!
Thirteen: She/He's Evil, i tells ya!
House: Evil, not evil, everyone's messed up. What did you find
Foreman: I think it's kidney failure
House: WRONG
Foreman: You Never listen to me!
House: WRONG
Wilson: You're a Jerk.Chase: it could be Syphillis
House: Maybe.
Patient: Why would i have syphillis?
*nobody says anything*
Thirteen: Why the fuck are you so immoral?
Patient: Everyone has their habits.
CUE CREEPY MUSIC/STAREDOWN
House: So it wasn't syphillis. i knew that.
Foreman: Were you testing us?
House: WRONG
Everybody: what is it?
House: Check that organ we talk about all the time but seem to always forget - THE PANCREAS
Everybody: Oh shit
Wilson: You're a jerk
Foreman: Thirteen, are you hung over again?
Thirteen: ...No.
House: I need your help with something, Cuddy. i need to do an illegal procedure.
Cuddy: No. go back and do your work yourself, the right way.
House: YOURE TERRIBLE AT YOUR JOB
Cuddy: fine, i'll do it.
House: *Swoon*
Wilson: You're a Jerk.
Foreman: So, we saved the patient!
House: I told you so!
Foreman: no, you had the wrong diagnosis!
House: Who cares?
Wilson: You're a Jerk.