I really want to see Zombieland

Lately, I've been thinking about how you can get to do things that you want to do. Sorry, that's vague, but I have been on 3 hours a sleep a night for the last 3 days so there you go.

On a whim, I wrote a play this summer, and I just found out it got selected for competition for the U of T Drama Festival in February. My immediate reaction was "this is awesome!" but, of course, the cynical/pessimistic/humble(?) version of myself was already coming up with reasons as to why it got selected.

I didn't think it was spectacular... it was fun to write, for sure, and I liked the premise, but I didn't really do any planning for it, and I kind of just started writing and it took it's own course. I feel like writing this way equates to a result with no overarching theme, no overall message, etc. Essentially, it's just two characters with 45 pages or so of "interesting" and "quirky" dialogue. (The synopsis in 8 words: "Waiting for Godot but Godot is a zombie.")

My cynical self is convinced that the reason "Waiting for Zobo" got selected is because no one else submitted a play. (Or that the premise is just gimmicky and about zombies, and they needed a "weird" play, but that's not the point).

Here is my point: I think at this stage in our lives, we're fortunate enough that if we want to do something, we'll be able to do it, as long as you put enough effort into getting to do it.

Aka: success is proportional to the amount of effort and determination and drive.

(While not true for everything, it seems to be the overriding rule in my life)

I feel like this only happens in the smaller bubbles of life, like university, or young adulthood.

In the real world, talent and ability plays a much much bigger role, because in the real world there are simply a much larger number of people competing for what you're doing.

(For example, the act of simply writing a play is probably good enough for in university for it to be produced, but in the real world, it has to be good and smart and clever and well-thought out and amazing)

I think right now, we're still able to get by with little talent and a lot of determination, and I'm going to be thankful for that, because it's going to change in a few years and one day and we'll all be old and upset that we were never good enough to do what we actually wanted to do in life, and will look back on these days because that we got to do it anyways, because we chose to and we could.

spaghetti's gone cold

today i'm going through my old artwork in an attempt to find something that i can include in my portfolio.

it's funny how every little thing holds a memory. there is a lot of stuff that, at the time, i thought was pretty good. looking back on it though, from two years in the future and with an unbiased eye (or at least with a more unbiased eye), most of it's shit.

i think if you're not constantly hating your past self, you're not growing anywhere.

Curing loneliness with even more loneliness

Just over a year ago, I found a plastic card on the street. It was all black except for the words "EB GAMES" in big red type on the front. I put it in my wallet and assumed I would use it later. I had since forgotten about it.

Passing by an EB today, I remembered that the card had been taking up space in my pocket almost every day for the past year and a half, so I stopped in and asked how much money was on this dirty old gift card.

Turns out I've been carrying around a hundred bucks in video games for a year and a half.

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Since returning to the T-Dot from my formerly gregarious lifestyle of Maritime university friends and Quebecois high school friends, I've been able to literally feel the loneliness seep into my life. I recognize this feeling: I lie in bed until just after 12:00, I run the few errands I've set aside for that day, maybe perusing the city's many ludicrous fashion stores and revel in the disgust I can't help but feel when looking at mannequins wearing silly and colourful clothes worth more than my rent.

With any luck I'll start work soon, , but that won't fill the gap created upon leaving my cozy Halifax nook. Maybe I took for granted the ability to call any number of my friends and take the five-minute walk down to the Wardy for a $2.50 Keiths, but the knowledge that I could was what stripped me of the social void I fall into every summer.

That's what kills me: I know this feeling. Every summer, for as long as I can remember, I spend time alone in my basement, replaying old Zelda games, renting four movies a week, spending heinous amounts of time on Facebook. Wishing I could bring myself to read all the books I've been telling myself I ought to read, only to find that my copious lethargy makes me immune to sitting still and concentrating for longer than ten minute intervals. I get so clinically lazy that I can't bring myself to do something that requires any sort of disciplined investment.

I'm not depressed, just aimless.

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I bought six video games today, all used, sort of on a whim--short of buying Rock Band for absolutely no reason, I figured it was the best use of the hundred dollars. I could feel my summer degenerating into arthritis as he told me I had $15 remaining on the card.

This post turned out indulgently long only because I've literally nothing else to do. (I played two of the six games already; I'm just taking a break.)

Granted, I finished university a bit earlier than almost all of my friends; I anticipate the shared two-fours and Banquet Specials that will inevitably precede shouting "BRUUUUCE!" in a car to Manchester, TN. This summer will not be horrendous, and I know I have friends here.

Mostly, I'm just fucking bored.

There's Something Absolutely Ridiculous About Watching Face/Off In the Library

"It's for school, I swear! I'm writing a paper on the evolution of transnational cinema and face/off is a really good example of...

Oh, Fuck it."

It's been three days - what the fuck?

I don't even have anything interesting to say.

So here's a photo of a duck.

Niles is Sure to Weave Another Laugh-Net

oh hell yes.

Some Lit, Some Fraiser, and a whole lotta funny.


... BUT WHERE'S WIGLAF?!?!

Hey, listen old man!

If we're talking about goats on the internet, the buck stops here.

Why Life Sucks and i have two essays due tomorrow

Bernice: Yo Dude, are you in the library?

Mr. Skylight: Nah, I'm with Hot Ice. I'll be there soon though.

B: Cool homes, i'm doing work in a room i've never been in before cause i wandered around for a while. call me when you arrive.

ONE ISAIAH THOMAS BIOGRAPHY, 50 WORDS ABOUT MILTON, AND THREE LIFE AS A LOSER COLUMNS LATER, 

Sky: Yo man, i'm in schulich. come meet me.

B: Ballin', Bro-heem. 

TWO BILL SIMMONS COLUMNS, AN ITUNES GENIUS UPDATE, LEARNING THE CHORDS TO A FLEET FOXES SONG WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING AN INSTRUMENT, MERELY IMAGINING HAVING AN INSTRUMENT, WHILE STARING AT THE UNOPENED BOOK THAT I HAVE TO START TAKING CITATIONS FROM, LATER.

B: Alright Dude i'm coming, what floor you on?

Sky: I got burnt out, i'm going home.

B: oh nice.

I'm so bad at working on task, i read the daily a few minutes ago. it seems i can only blog about procrastinating, this is my second straight real post about that.

Calling all college students who really just can't make it happen.

WHY?