Yonge and Bloor
Toronto
under name: Bernice (Natch.)
Showing posts with label Zounds Q. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zounds Q. Show all posts
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Monday, September 28, 2009
When You're A Dentist, Or: Slate is Stealing Our Ideas
Do you guys remember, way, way back in the emotional and meteorological wasteland known as "February" when I posted this?
That was a long time ago.
For a refresher, I wrote about all of the things that went through my head at the dentist, leading to a positively thrilling discussion in which we all talked about our fears of dentists, teeth, and poor hygiene, exposing how we REALLY felt about the dentites.
Well, it seems that over the next seven days (From Yesterday to Oct 5), June Thomas of Slate Magazine is doing exactly that.
However closely Thomas's writing will mirror our discussion is yet to be seen, but just for fun I think I'll follow it and post my thoughts or analysis here. You know, to get the blog back up and running and providing you all that shit we're (not at all) famous for.
Slate used to be a wonderful magazine (and when I say used, I mean like two, three months ago).
Yet, for whatever reason, it seems lately to be riding a serious wean away from my interests. Now it's very strange (and perhaps a sign of something, god knows what) to see them devoting a week-long series to something I was interested in nine months ago. Perhaps this will bring me back, perhaps it will not.
We'll see June Thomas, God Speed.
UPDATE: THEY ALSO WROTE ABOUT GIANT SQUIDS! DON'T FUCK WITH GIANT SQUIDS!
That was a long time ago.
For a refresher, I wrote about all of the things that went through my head at the dentist, leading to a positively thrilling discussion in which we all talked about our fears of dentists, teeth, and poor hygiene, exposing how we REALLY felt about the dentites.
Well, it seems that over the next seven days (From Yesterday to Oct 5), June Thomas of Slate Magazine is doing exactly that.
However closely Thomas's writing will mirror our discussion is yet to be seen, but just for fun I think I'll follow it and post my thoughts or analysis here. You know, to get the blog back up and running and providing you all that shit we're (not at all) famous for.
Slate used to be a wonderful magazine (and when I say used, I mean like two, three months ago).
Yet, for whatever reason, it seems lately to be riding a serious wean away from my interests. Now it's very strange (and perhaps a sign of something, god knows what) to see them devoting a week-long series to something I was interested in nine months ago. Perhaps this will bring me back, perhaps it will not.
We'll see June Thomas, God Speed.
UPDATE: THEY ALSO WROTE ABOUT GIANT SQUIDS! DON'T FUCK WITH GIANT SQUIDS!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I am a 20 year old living in a 27.1 year old's body
At least, I am according to www.realage.com.
My body is aging 7 years faster than I am, so far. If I stay on this pace, by the time I'm 50, supposedly the new 40, I'll really be 68. Yeesh.
How's THAT for depressing? My hard-living lifestyle has rendered me 135% of the body I should be. Hard living? pah! "Hard living" got me no older on this list, as my current levels of drinking and smoking went nowhere in making my "realage" older. In fact, I got a green checkmark in both of those departments.
So, how exactly am I living so damn hard? It all comes down to Apples and Oranges.
Here's a rundown of what I need more of.
In my diet I need more: calcium, folic acid, vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E, folate, breakfast, omega 3, and potassium.
Or, in other words, fruit.
I did really well in all of the categories except for diet; I walk about an hour a day, I have a stable relationship, good friends, a job, I'm supposedly learning in school, etc etc. Mentally, I'm physically great.
But, nonetheless, this is pretty darn frightening.
I need to start eating better, getting back to playing squash, and actually learn the meanings of terrifying phrases like "cholesterol" and "blood pressure".
As I was typing this, I got a text from the mysterious and ever-absent Kierke-a-dizzal asking me to join a squash tournament this saturday. I immediately accepted, rationalizing that I could be late for my other engagement on saturday, watching baseball and drinking beer on my lazy ass. It was probably the right choice. Thank you, internet fearmongers!
So tell me, loyal and gentle reader, What's YOUR RealAge?
My body is aging 7 years faster than I am, so far. If I stay on this pace, by the time I'm 50, supposedly the new 40, I'll really be 68. Yeesh.
How's THAT for depressing? My hard-living lifestyle has rendered me 135% of the body I should be. Hard living? pah! "Hard living" got me no older on this list, as my current levels of drinking and smoking went nowhere in making my "realage" older. In fact, I got a green checkmark in both of those departments.
So, how exactly am I living so damn hard? It all comes down to Apples and Oranges.
Here's a rundown of what I need more of.
In my diet I need more: calcium, folic acid, vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E, folate, breakfast, omega 3, and potassium.
Or, in other words, fruit.
I did really well in all of the categories except for diet; I walk about an hour a day, I have a stable relationship, good friends, a job, I'm supposedly learning in school, etc etc. Mentally, I'm physically great.
But, nonetheless, this is pretty darn frightening.
I need to start eating better, getting back to playing squash, and actually learn the meanings of terrifying phrases like "cholesterol" and "blood pressure".
As I was typing this, I got a text from the mysterious and ever-absent Kierke-a-dizzal asking me to join a squash tournament this saturday. I immediately accepted, rationalizing that I could be late for my other engagement on saturday, watching baseball and drinking beer on my lazy ass. It was probably the right choice. Thank you, internet fearmongers!
So tell me, loyal and gentle reader, What's YOUR RealAge?
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
When the Trickster Goes A-Pokin'
Hey Everybody! Check out This Video.
The very presence of two of the most esteemed American writers of all time, both who made their livings on social criticism, on the second-most iconic talk show of all time, is mindboggling. Yes, this was after Cavett made his switch to public television, a medium far better suited to Cheever and Updike than ABC, but I think you see my point.
What I find the most interesting is the mutual desire, the need, both of them reveal to move out of New York City. Despite their hatred of all things suburban (if you didn't yet pick that up, read Bullet Park. Chilling, truly.), they must return there, for it is their nexus. i suppose it speaks to the idea of comfort and home, and to the conceit that criticism is okay when you are understanding of your subject.
Steven King defines three types of writers: Those that are so bad they have no hope, those that are good enough to forge a career (he puts himself in this group), and those that are so good that they either are driven to misery by their own frustrations with their limits, or even their abilities. I came across this theory immediately after watching this video, and saw some parallels. Updike, certainly a brilliant writer, is laconic, social, eloquent. He is also humble and engaging, which are two words so far from Cheever that they're practically wearing a cowboy hat and kicking him in the face. It's in his turning away from Cavett, his obnoxious New England accent, and his unwillingness to discuss virtually anything that shows how profoundly uncomfortable he is with his place in society and literature. It's safe to assume that his mind is long lost at this point on self-definition and other matters.
The very presence of two of the most esteemed American writers of all time, both who made their livings on social criticism, on the second-most iconic talk show of all time, is mindboggling. Yes, this was after Cavett made his switch to public television, a medium far better suited to Cheever and Updike than ABC, but I think you see my point.
What I find the most interesting is the mutual desire, the need, both of them reveal to move out of New York City. Despite their hatred of all things suburban (if you didn't yet pick that up, read Bullet Park. Chilling, truly.), they must return there, for it is their nexus. i suppose it speaks to the idea of comfort and home, and to the conceit that criticism is okay when you are understanding of your subject.
Steven King defines three types of writers: Those that are so bad they have no hope, those that are good enough to forge a career (he puts himself in this group), and those that are so good that they either are driven to misery by their own frustrations with their limits, or even their abilities. I came across this theory immediately after watching this video, and saw some parallels. Updike, certainly a brilliant writer, is laconic, social, eloquent. He is also humble and engaging, which are two words so far from Cheever that they're practically wearing a cowboy hat and kicking him in the face. It's in his turning away from Cavett, his obnoxious New England accent, and his unwillingness to discuss virtually anything that shows how profoundly uncomfortable he is with his place in society and literature. It's safe to assume that his mind is long lost at this point on self-definition and other matters.
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Destination: Blogosphere
... Is "blogosphere" even a destination?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blogspace
"The term was coined on September 10, 1999 by Brad L. Graham, as a joke... The term resembles the older word logosphere (from Greek logos meaning word, and sphere, interpreted as world), the "the world of words", the universe of discourse."
Almost makes you forget that most of the blogosphere looks like this.
I'm skeptical--but, okay, ICGYABL, I'll bite. No better time to experiment than college years, right? New doors, new windows, yeah! Optimism! For a better future! Yes we can!
...
Now, where the fuck's my pancakes?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blogspace
"The term was coined on September 10, 1999 by Brad L. Graham, as a joke... The term resembles the older word logosphere (from Greek logos meaning word, and sphere, interpreted as world), the "the world of words", the universe of discourse."
Almost makes you forget that most of the blogosphere looks like this.
I'm skeptical--but, okay, ICGYABL, I'll bite. No better time to experiment than college years, right? New doors, new windows, yeah! Optimism! For a better future! Yes we can!
...
Now, where the fuck's my pancakes?
Monday, December 1, 2008
Why Life Sucks and i have two essays due tomorrow
Bernice: Yo Dude, are you in the library?
Mr. Skylight: Nah, I'm with Hot Ice. I'll be there soon though.
B: Cool homes, i'm doing work in a room i've never been in before cause i wandered around for a while. call me when you arrive.
ONE ISAIAH THOMAS BIOGRAPHY, 50 WORDS ABOUT MILTON, AND THREE LIFE AS A LOSER COLUMNS LATER,
Sky: Yo man, i'm in schulich. come meet me.
B: Ballin', Bro-heem.
TWO BILL SIMMONS COLUMNS, AN ITUNES GENIUS UPDATE, LEARNING THE CHORDS TO A FLEET FOXES SONG WITHOUT ACTUALLY HAVING AN INSTRUMENT, MERELY IMAGINING HAVING AN INSTRUMENT, WHILE STARING AT THE UNOPENED BOOK THAT I HAVE TO START TAKING CITATIONS FROM, LATER.
B: Alright Dude i'm coming, what floor you on?
Sky: I got burnt out, i'm going home.
B: oh nice.
I'm so bad at working on task, i read the daily a few minutes ago. it seems i can only blog about procrastinating, this is my second straight real post about that.
Calling all college students who really just can't make it happen.
WHY?
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