It's been three days - what the fuck?

I don't even have anything interesting to say.

So here's a photo of a duck.

Dear World: Please Stop Comparing Things to the Holocaust

I write this letter - addressed to you, dear World - after a somewhat recent Haligonian event caused a stir down at St. Mary's University, wherein a very religious man compared abortion to the Holocaust.

I couldn't help but be reminded of PETA's toss-around of the ol' slaughter. An apt metaphor for the killing of chickens, indeed.

In light of such comparisons, I make a public plea: Seriously, you guys, nothing is really comparable to the systemic murdering of six million Jews. Really. Maybe Rwandans or peeps from Darfur could pull it off. I would be okay with that. But please stop comparing things that are not the systemic murdering of six million Jews to things that are the systemic murdering of six million Jews. It's getting a bit trite, and people are starting to mock you behind your back.

With fury like the Holocaust,
MMTIF

Women bet man he couldn't satisfy them; Man proves them wrong; dies afterwards

12-hour Viagra-fuelled orgy ends in death

"The mechanic died of a heart attack minutes after winning the wager"

Truly an incredible man - he satisfied two women for twelve hours. Truly a feat to be admired.

Mel Gibson auditioned for this role as a sequel to "What Women Want", but he quickly withdrew, citing stiff competition.

Oh, and for the record? An orgy is four people, not three. Do your research, writers of "weird true freaky".

In an effort to hold on to my last few months of teenagerdom, I still find this to be awesome. I'm glad the article hardly takes this seriously at all - the summary is my favourite.