The 'Tick is a blog delightful
with humour and chatter insightful
blessed with content anew
once in a moon blue
I hope this didn't sound spiteful.
I'm hoping to spread the word out
so we can continue to grow our nerd clout
it's time to keep blogging
our brains are all clogging
prescription: get some absurd out.
I know posts like this are so lame
so i've decided to make it a game
if you can't think of nothin'
instead of sittin and cussin,
why don't you try doing the same.
Two Hundred and Ninety posts in
There's gotta be something to win
"Dessert Tickets Jest"
a limerick contest!
first prize: a bottle of gin.
If we can't be the Blog that Keeps Thinkin'
At least be the ones who keep drinkin'
please keep them dirty
ribald, hurdy-gurdy
to save this old ship here from sinkin'
So come back right here to the tick
and send in your finest limerick
Y'all should have something to show
i've set the bar oh-so-low
and it's easy to rhyme about dicks.
Just start a new post like normal
click the link in the top right cornah
just try your best
in our silly contest test
you don't need to rewrite the mourner's.
Thanks to you for reading my rap
at times it was great, others: crap.
all i hope that i did
was appeal to your id
who doesn't love a poetic fap?
Posts
9 comments:
There once was a blog from Nantucket...
Bernice, your idea is terrific
(Though your meter was unscientific)
DT has of late
Been slow out of the gate
Our posts have been dull, unprolific.
And a contest! My heartbeat, it quickens!
That'll surely cure what we've been with-stricken!
I can't wait to observe
The poetic hors-d'oeuvres
We'll produce--unless you're all chicken.
My dear sir, I implore, just try me;
Your rhymes are just fit to wipe hineys;
I'll take up your task,
And drink from my flask--
After all, today is St. Patty's.
In Hali, the sun is a-blooming,
And you Mo-town kids should be swooning,
'Cause I'm out and about
In a t-shirt no doubt
And ignoring those tests which are looming.
(That last rhyme was rather pathetic,
I shouldn't have writ, but I meant it;
In hopes to regain
My standing, though lame,
A line about boobs: "I love tits.")
There once was a chap from Bermuda
Who delighted in Pablo Neruda
He was swimming around
When, still reading, he drowned
And was lunched on by two barracuda.
I just made that up.
There once was a lass named Mcnerney
who rogered a fella named ernie
it would have gone fine,
but ernie was equine,
and McNerney wound up on the Gurney.
There once was a man named McGrath
whose lovers all trod the same path
they wanted a roll
but he got the wrong hole
yes, mcgrath went straight for the ath.
I once knew an elderly hobo
Who'd share all his wisdom pro bono,
He'd wander around
And yap on profound
Until screaming aloud, "I'M HAN SOLO!"
{true story?}
I'm writing a paper on China
Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah
He plays the banjo
But I'm stuck in the library
Vagina vagina vagina.
I like rhyming but my limericks make no sense.
There once was a grizzled old panda
Who enjoyed a drink on the veranda
He drove a Mercedes
And cavorted with ladies
Until they sent him straight back to Uganda.
In addition to this, a young turkey
With a yen for breasts little and perky
Liked to wiggle his snood
In a manner quite rude
For a bird, 'twas surpassingly quirky.
There once was a blog named The 'Tick
Whose members learned very quick
that if they need snogging
to yell "I love blogging!"
for young hipsters will fall for their shtick.
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