Amster-DAYUM, son!

Greetings from Amstery Park, NJ. Some reflections on this great Dutch city for your enjoyment:

- Everyone here is attractive, slim and under the age of 50; all the men wear blazers and all the women look like they would dominate in bed.

- The one man I noticed over the age of 50 was wearing a tweed blazer with light blue jeans, a pink woven undershirt, a poofy red scarf and matching red socks with very nice brown shoes. His hair also made my own father's mop look like a crew-cut.

- Everyone here is very determined to get where they're going--cyclists will opt for a crash before they wince at intersecting traffic, I have not seen a car slow down once, and all the well-dressed men and women look like they're en route to the final stage of their spy mission.

- In spite of the above point, people are generally friendly, although one is likely sooner to experience the apocalypse than a waiter give you the time of day.

- The newspapers here make the Epigram look like the New York Times. Mind that I cannot read the content, but the oversized tabloid papers are just hard on the eyes.

- Couples will sit and smoke on a patio with seemingly nothing to do in the middle of the day. It's Wednesday, people!

I think that's all for now. More on this zany adventure as it develops. Tonight, jetlag sleep; tomorrow, windmills!