Don't drink the poison Kool-Aid

Have you ever sent your awareness of your mind to a certain part of your body? Like your arm, for example. Felt it with your consciousness -- became aware of its presence?

What a weird fucking question.

It also happens to be what I've been doing for the past eleven days, in an isolated camp in the woods. No physical contact, no communication, complete silence in the presence of about 60 other strangers doing the same thing. This is known to some as Vipassana meditation.

3:59 AM. All is silent across the camp except for the sound of the crickets and the rustle of wind on the leaves. The gong sounds at 4:00 AM, and I slowly get up, wash my face and trudge to the meditation hall, sit and observe the breath entering and exiting my nostrils. The hall is dark; a dim light reveal shapes of people sitting as still as stone statues.

I break a few hours later, eat my first meal, and collapse on my bed for forty minutes. The gong sounds again and I repeat the same process until the next meal. It's now 11:00 AM. People trudge around like zombies, eat, and then disappear into their quarters. At 1 O clock we resume. Minutes pass like hours, hours pass like seconds, seconds pass like years. It's been 12 hours. Tea Break, more meditation till nine, then sleep. Repeat for ten days.

Ten days of virtual isolation. Now I'm back.

Having no opportunity for human contact I found ways to entertain myself when I wasn't sitting in pain and observing it. I saw them every day; in the meditation hall; shuffling by on the pebble road between meditation times; in the queue for the washroom; sitting outside drinking tea. But had no idea who they were. So I invented aliases for them; so that when I was referring to them, my mind would know which one I was talking about.

First and foremost, there was "Really Korean Guy". I knew nothing about him -- except that we we shared a room, he looked really Korean and his name was Kim -- which I had managed to extrapolate from the shower schedule on the wall of Washroom A.

Really Korean Guy took as many naps during rest breaks as me, which was all the time that was possible, he had an orange blanket and was growing a moustache. Also, He also snored like a hoover vacuum. The walls resonated with the sound at night and at nap time when he fell asleep before me. Otherwise, I didn't notice. Which was okay because I'm pretty sure I snored, and most definitely talked in my sleep.

Stereotypical Old Chinese Man wore khakis, running shoes, shuffled around everywhere and did stretching during breaks.

Ultimate Nature Dude was awesome. Ultimate Nature Dude wore long dreadlocks, a matted beard and ate all his meals on the floor outside. With his hands. He also walked around barefoot everywhere, smelled, and often used the outhouse for taking a crap; most people only peed there because it was gross.

Beer! Was a big beefy guy who looked like he needed a beer. Humble Asian Guy always wore a hood and shuffled around. Camping Catalogue Dad would fit right into Canadian Tire. Lawnchair Meditation Dude sat in front of me with elaborate setup of pillows and back supports and spread himself across the floor. I sneezed on his neck by accident once but couldn't apologize because we couldn't talk.

Then there was Looks Most Like A Tibetan Monk, White Yoga Instructor, Guy Who Looks Like The Actor Who Played The Main Character In Hamlet 2, But Balding, Guy Who could probably beat me Up, Karate Disciple and so on.

On the last day, we were allowed to talk and I found out Really Korean Dude wasn't actually Korean: He was Chinese. I was shattered, but able to recover and remain equanimous due to my training in the course.

Much wisdom may arise from such deep meditative practices such as Vipassana, this is true. But know also, that as much wisdom that arises, there is overwhelmingly greater proportion of crap that also floats up. When deprived of all stimulation, sitting in darkness and complete silence for 10 days, your mind starts compensating by throwing as much shit in your face as it can.

Memories, fragments, faces, people (you guys all made an appearance in one way or another), sounds, ideas (pleasant, and unpleasant) arise, and try to undermine and shatter your concentration.

These ones succeeded phenomenally and resulted me nearly bursting out into laughter.

JT's pecking order for an orgy.
Chicken fighting in a nightclub/angry hipsters.
Derek doing the "Shopping Trolley" to Billie Jean
Derek Ikwueke. Deserves to be mentioned twice.
Wacko Jacko
"Youuuuuuuuu!", "Meeeeeeeeeee!"
Tim's "Follow Guy" (the blonde one may eventually understand.)
Annyong.
Power naps. And the really hot girl at the bus stop that remembers the conversation you had about them when you started talking to her at a bar a month ago and never saw again until now. Man she was hot.

Finally, Muse's Absolution without fail, played in the the back of my head continuously. Meditation to the sounds of the apocalypse. Sing for absolution? Could be appropriate. Or Crank That.

Anyway, I'm back again. What's the game this week?
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fiveforthelips likes food a lot. almost as much a his mother.