Adventures in a Foreign Land

Yesterday, I went to a Portuguese chicken take-out joint. All signs were either in French or in Portuguese.

There was a long line, and the servers were clearly in a rush. When it was my turn to order, I ordered in English. Mistake.

The old chicken-servin' lady gave me a swat on the arm with a paper bag and walked away.

Friend: "Did... did she just hit you because you ordered in English?"
Me: "No way."

The old chicken-servin' lady returned, and I asked her - in French - why she hit me. Instant smile on her face, and a completely new demeanor. She told me she did it because she liked me; I'm not so sure.

Que Dieu te bénisse, Montréal.

I, too, have not seen The Reader

Best part of the Oscars, bar none.

Fuck Heath Ledger's crying family. Hugh Jackman screaming "I'M WOLVERINE!" downstage centre at the Kodak Theatre last night proved that the best shot the Academy's got is joining the quirky, self-aware status of so many other celebrities and performances these days.

It's that sort of "Adaptation-made-this-cool" self-consciousness of a medium in its own time and place--e.g. the Academy Awards during the recession; virtually any film with George Clooney post-Ocean's 11--that makes Hollywood not only bearable, but also a bit enjoyable. If Hollywood takes itself seriously enough to regard Oscar-winners as the best films of that year on a global, universal scale, then they're not just idiots, but also have their heads up their asses, and that shit makes people angry. It's alienating. But if they take the self-referential route of self-mockery and put Hugh Jackman's face on a baby--well, fuck, I'll watch that. Hollywood knows its place, and I appreciate that.

But Mickey Rourke was still totally robbed. WTF.

Greetings from the chihuahuan desert

sooooooo...

In continuing with the fine DT tradition of foreign correspondence I bring all ye alls an update from Albequerque, New Mexico. For those of you who aren't familiar with good old Abq. it is America's 6th fastest growing city (pop 500 000ish), the altitude is 5000+ feet, and the only things for miles from where I am staying are hippies and chickens and yet somehow I still get wireless internet from inside this adobe hut. Actually speaking of the internet a lady in a shop told me a pretty sweet joke... "Lady: So I hear they don't have e-mail in Canada?, Me:yeah..., Lady: they have eh-mail!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hilarious.
Albequerque is a very strange place. I am just outside of the "downtown core" right now and the neighbours on one side have horses and on the other they are breading chihuahuas... I you have never seen ten chihuahuas in one place I highly recomend it. Also the city began as an artistic community so a) everyone is a little crazy and b) everyone is peddling somesort of craft all the time. I am pretty sure that this place is just the worlds largest hippie commune.
Anyways this trip has left me with a number of reflections on both family and this country that apparently I am a citizen of (it's a good thing I have citizenship to, officer Ramirez wouldn't have let me on the plane otherwise) but it doesn't feel like I have time to articulate them as I would like to - I am do at a Bar mitzvah pool party in an hour, that's right suckers it's 20 degrees celcius here - so I think I will wrap this up.
I mostly wanted to tell you all where to put my light on all your imaginary maps... because I am far away but the internet is magical...and terrifying

Other fun things I have learned:

1. You don't have to pay tax here if you can pay cash
2. A peacocks cry sounds exactly like a cats
3. the roving herds of giant guinea hens do not in fact want to play with me
4. Instead of catching a bus somewhere here you catch a ditch
5. Reconstructionist judiasm is like nothing I have ever seen before
6. The jewish reconstruction has absolutely nothing to do with black people
7. I really like montreal... it is a pretty special place... even if there are no chickens

Lates kids, and much love