Ew

So, my soap dispenser officially ran out of soap today. You know soap dispensers, right? The little nozzle things that are connected to containers filled with hygiene-inducing liquid soap? Kinda like a sunscreen bottle? Not a soap dispenser like: something where you press a button or sing a song or something and a bar of soap pops out; though that would be cool... That could look like a can dispenser, which looks like this:
Now just replace the cans with soap bars, and you'll have a vague idea of what this post is not about.
In any case, we're talking 'sun-screen bottle' nozzle here. And that's an important part of the soap dispenser apparatus, because when the aforementioned liquid soap inside the container runs out, you press down on the nozzle, and nothing happens. Predicament! What was I to do now? I needed soap, but no soap was being dispensed. So, like any dirty-handed, cleansing-needing individual, I refused to believe that a little perseverance would not solve my problem: I continued to press down on the nozzle, pumping it until finally a vacuum formed, and the last little bit of liquid soap squirted into my hand.
And then, that somehow made me feel much, much dirtier, so I just tossed the dispenser, and got an actual bar of soap..

.. and then had breakfast by holding a whole chicken in one hand, a knife in the other, and cutting off pieces from the former using the latter.